Below is the post from Carter's webstie. I promise soon the blog will get back to fun things we are doing as a family...but for now we take a moment to grieve...
Thursday, March 20, 2008 10:38 PM
Dear ones,I wanted to take a moment and let you know that Carter is maybe a little better. He has had longer stints off of the oxygen. Today was the longest...he is resting peacefully right now without it. He played very hard today with his buddy Benjamin...I think you can call it playing...they coexisted until the other one started bossing the other one around...I wanted to clear up some confusion. Anyone who wants to join us is welcome tomorrow as we lay precious Andrew's earthly body to rest. It is closed casket and all services will be at the graveside. Bo and I realize that this is all for the praise and glory of God and that Andrew is more than just ours. Never would we close ourselves off...we learned that life is larger than we realize almost 4 years ago when Carter Mac was born.If you wanted an update on us you just received it. From here on down are things that I feel pressed to share.I have been promising an update from me on things God is doing in my life for a few weeks now. Feb. 28th is the date to be exact since I promised. I read something in my quiet time with God that touched me deeply and so related to the things we go through with Carter. Little did I know how true those things would be even on a day like today or a day one week ago or better yet, a day like tomorrow. "Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God" Psalm 42:5"Then I will come to the altar of God, to God, my greatest joy. I will praise You with the lyre, God, my God." Psalm 43:4I often pick up a book by David Nasser titled "Glory Revealed." I have picked this book up on and off since Fall of last year when we were in Nashville for the second time.The book is about different times/ways in our lives where God's Glory is revealed. There have been several that have touched me deeply...but the one from late Feb. is "Glory Revealed through Declaration."David says, "I often love to start a worship service by getting people on their feet and asking them to shout out specific attributes of God. I say, 'What has God been to you? Who has he revealed himself to be?' But most importantly, I ask them, 'Who do you need him to be?' I do this because there is much power in declaration. Power in rehearsing the things you may not feel at the moment but you know are true. It's because simply saying out loud the things you need to hear goes a long way in preparing the spirit for things to be that way. It's the power of the tongue. Psalm 42 is most famous for, 'As a deer longs for streams of water, so I long for You, God.' But it goes on to say, 'My tears have been my food day and night, while all day long people say to me, "Where is your God?"' (v.3). Not the content of your average worship song.Most psalms are songs of lament and honesty, but we don't hear about those too often. The ones written from the mountaintops of life tend to win popularity contest. But some of the most useful truths are in the psalms written from the valleys. Lament is a powerful tool that God uses to draw us nearer to him. A while back Michael Card gave an interview in Christianity Today that really struck me. The whole interview was about sorrow, lament, and suffering - not something we read about a whole lot. A series of events led Michael to a season in his life pondering the mystery of suffering and what God's role was in it. He came to the conclusion that we can't understand God's worth without experiencing woundedness. God's worth is found in the desert, not in the picnic grounds.Michael tells a story of a pastor friend who was paralyzed in an auto accident while out on a pastoral call. There was no obvious rhyme or reason to the tragedy - it just happened. When his friend began to cry out to God and experience his prescience, his cries changed. 'You don't have to heal me. Just don't leave me!' His friend learned that the presence of God was much more vital than God's provision.What would happen if, in the middle of our lament, we grasped that God was really what we needed? What if our sorrow turned to declaration about his goodness? What if we ignored our feelings and, with our lips moved on to the part where we honor God for everything he is?Alone discouraged, finding himself clearly at the bottom, King David was dangerously close to giving up. He could have stuck his head in the sand and prayed for the buzzards to come and deliver him from his misery. But instead he gave himself a wake- up call. David picked himself up by the bootstraps and ordered himself to place his hope in God. 'Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:5Here was David in the middle of depression and despair, and the psalmist is actually preaching to himself. he more or less says, 'This is not how I feel right now, but this is how I am.' Our feelings are fickle, but our God is constant. Sometimes we just have to rehearse the truth out loud."There is so much truth in what you just read. I saw so much of our journey with Carter in this writing of David Nassar. So many times where after all of our calling out to God all we had the strength to do was rehearse out loud (whether in a parent room or our room at the Ronald McDonald house or on this website or to a dear one on the phone) the things we know to be true about God but we didn't feel at the time. So as I come to you tonight I look at this writing and still see so much of our journey with Carter. I must confess, I have walked this particular path in my imagination at least 10 times when Carter has been so close to death. I have his funeral planned, I have tried to imagine these feelings concerning him...if this was the day before I laid his body to rest...but never had I thought for a moment that I would be doing this with our dear little unknown Andrew. Not the one that showed much life on the monitors time and time again. Not the one whose little body checked out to be 100erfect. But here I sit. But here I type. This chapter God is writing in our lives right this moment is not one that people will recall over and over. Here in this fast paced society we take just the moments for the good stuff and we push the sadness to the side as quickly as possible. This is a chapter that we could not have predicted. This is a chapter we never would have chosen. We, like King David, could put our heads in the sands and give up.The counselor in me has to disagree a smidgen with David Nassar when he writes "our feelings are fickle, but our God is constant." I promise all who are taking time to read this that my feelings right now are far from fickle. Every emotion that I walk others through that I work with that are grieving, I promise I am experiencing and I promise fickle is not a word close to my vocabulary right now. But I wholeheartedly agree that our God is constant.I do not know how long my arms will ache for a child I held for just a moment in time in my arms. I do not know how long my womb will cease to bear a newborn life into our lives that will bring joy. I do know that my God is constant. I do know that in the middle of lament right now, in the middle of my heart being broken and my breathe being taken at times out of my body that God is really what I need. I know that He is good and I know that I want my lips to proclaim His goodness. I know that I desire to honor Him for everything He is. He is my Jehovah Rapha and He will guide me through the healing that I need. He will use my sadness to grow me and to change me and to make me less like me and more like Him. I know that he promises that I will forget my suffering, recalling it only as waters that have flowed by (Job 11:16).My prayer is that if your eyes have made it this far in the longest post in my history that you know Him for who He is. If you do not, please seek the answers today. My email address is here on this page...email and Bo and I will pray for you and lift you up as you seek answers for your life. A website with some more information is http://www.sbc.net/knowjesus/ . I cannot tell you how reassuring it is to look my beautiful (he would correct me and say he is handsome) Spencer into those crystal blue eyes and say with assurance that we have hope. To say that with confidence through the pain God has a plan and it is good, it is good, it is good. How I pray you can say the same.Broken but believing,Lindy for her man and her boys (Bo, Spencer,Carter, angel Ethan and angel Andrew)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Andrew's Service Time
Andrew Hayes Oswalt
March 14, 2008
1 lb 2 ounces
12 inches long
There will be a graveside service at 1pm on Friday, March 21, 2008 at 1pm at Self Creek Baptist Church Cemetery in Maben, Mississippi.
There will be a small nursery provided for those unable to find childcare.
We will post directions to the church cemetery later. I know people were wanting to know when the service was going to be held.
Carter saw Dr. Molly today. His chest x-ray looks good. We are still waiting on the call for blood work. She agreed that he sounded junky. She said to keep doing what we are doing. We will possibly do an antibiotic if blood work calls for it.
We are attempting normalcy this afternoon by attending Spencer's first official soccer game.
I will try to post directions on here later.
I am doing as well as to be expected. Yesterday was tough physically and emotionally. Today physically is a little better in some ways and a little worse in others. Emotionally about the same.
Believing,
Lindy for The Oswalts
March 14, 2008
1 lb 2 ounces
12 inches long
There will be a graveside service at 1pm on Friday, March 21, 2008 at 1pm at Self Creek Baptist Church Cemetery in Maben, Mississippi.
There will be a small nursery provided for those unable to find childcare.
We will post directions to the church cemetery later. I know people were wanting to know when the service was going to be held.
Carter saw Dr. Molly today. His chest x-ray looks good. We are still waiting on the call for blood work. She agreed that he sounded junky. She said to keep doing what we are doing. We will possibly do an antibiotic if blood work calls for it.
We are attempting normalcy this afternoon by attending Spencer's first official soccer game.
I will try to post directions on here later.
I am doing as well as to be expected. Yesterday was tough physically and emotionally. Today physically is a little better in some ways and a little worse in others. Emotionally about the same.
Believing,
Lindy for The Oswalts
Sunday, March 16, 2008
About Andrew
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
That is the scripture at the top of the Nason's blog. (link is on the right) I could not think of another verse that sums up what I am "striving" for today. I just can't rely on my own feelings and hurt right now. It makes so much more sense to just hand it all over to my Holy Daddy who loves me and hurts when I am hurting. My "understanding" of why this has all happened and how much more can we endure is woefully inadequate. I simply will trust in God and acknowledge that He knows far better than we. His hand is guiding our steps even now. We rest in the shadow of His healing wings.
Andrew was and is a beautiful little boy. He weighed only 1 lb and 2 oz and was 12 inches in length, but was formed perfectly in every way. He bears a striking resemblance to his older brothers, though they will sadly never run and play together. His mother's grief is intense; he will never know the warmth and safety of her embrace. Her arms are so empty. I will forever cherish the memory of the scent of his body after he had been cleaned. I pray that it will linger forever in my mind. I hope that I can remember the way his skin felt against my lips when I kissed him. He was so tiny, but mine nonetheless
A graveside service will be held on Friday afternoon (time yet to be determined) at the Self Creek Baptist Church cemetery. Please continue to pray for us as we rely on God's providence in our lives.
Always Andrew's dad,
Bo
That is the scripture at the top of the Nason's blog. (link is on the right) I could not think of another verse that sums up what I am "striving" for today. I just can't rely on my own feelings and hurt right now. It makes so much more sense to just hand it all over to my Holy Daddy who loves me and hurts when I am hurting. My "understanding" of why this has all happened and how much more can we endure is woefully inadequate. I simply will trust in God and acknowledge that He knows far better than we. His hand is guiding our steps even now. We rest in the shadow of His healing wings.
Andrew was and is a beautiful little boy. He weighed only 1 lb and 2 oz and was 12 inches in length, but was formed perfectly in every way. He bears a striking resemblance to his older brothers, though they will sadly never run and play together. His mother's grief is intense; he will never know the warmth and safety of her embrace. Her arms are so empty. I will forever cherish the memory of the scent of his body after he had been cleaned. I pray that it will linger forever in my mind. I hope that I can remember the way his skin felt against my lips when I kissed him. He was so tiny, but mine nonetheless
A graveside service will be held on Friday afternoon (time yet to be determined) at the Self Creek Baptist Church cemetery. Please continue to pray for us as we rely on God's providence in our lives.
Always Andrew's dad,
Bo
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
An American Hero!
Okay,
I know that you all have been holding your breath for me to post today after Huckabee conceded and McCain has been crowned the GOP nominee. First of all, don't be sad for Gov Mike. He ran an excellent campaign and is a very talented individual. He has a bright future ahead of him (though I do not pretend to know what it is!) Secondly, I do have a sense of "I told you so..." in arguing with many seasoned political veterans (including a former Mississippi governor who shall go unnamed) and accomplished political science professors about McCain's chances at winning the Republican nomination despite some perceived unconservative stances and recent financial shortcomings. In short, I am justified in my political philosophy and opinion. :P
Also, I am proud to say that Sen McCain has strong Mississippi roots!!! His grandfather, Admiral John S McCain Sr, is from Carrollton, MS. He was the commander of the Pacific Fleet during World War II. Camp McCain, near Grenada, is named for him, as is McCain Field at the Naval Air Station in Meridian. McCain (the grandfather) also attended Ole Miss. Because of these strong ties to the state, Trent Lott referred to Sen. McCain as the "third Senator from Mississippi" at a lecture that I attended that they both gave here on campus at the Ford Center in 2005. (The Ford Center is also where he will first debate the Dem nominee in September!
Okay, digest this information. I will share more about him in the coming days, along with providing wonderful and pithy commentary to accompany the information. We are all well here in Oxford. Us boys got haircuts today. We needed them desperately! Harley even went to the doggy spa yesterday for a trim! New pictures to come soon.
Bo
Bo
I know that you all have been holding your breath for me to post today after Huckabee conceded and McCain has been crowned the GOP nominee. First of all, don't be sad for Gov Mike. He ran an excellent campaign and is a very talented individual. He has a bright future ahead of him (though I do not pretend to know what it is!) Secondly, I do have a sense of "I told you so..." in arguing with many seasoned political veterans (including a former Mississippi governor who shall go unnamed) and accomplished political science professors about McCain's chances at winning the Republican nomination despite some perceived unconservative stances and recent financial shortcomings. In short, I am justified in my political philosophy and opinion. :P
Also, I am proud to say that Sen McCain has strong Mississippi roots!!! His grandfather, Admiral John S McCain Sr, is from Carrollton, MS. He was the commander of the Pacific Fleet during World War II. Camp McCain, near Grenada, is named for him, as is McCain Field at the Naval Air Station in Meridian. McCain (the grandfather) also attended Ole Miss. Because of these strong ties to the state, Trent Lott referred to Sen. McCain as the "third Senator from Mississippi" at a lecture that I attended that they both gave here on campus at the Ford Center in 2005. (The Ford Center is also where he will first debate the Dem nominee in September!
Okay, digest this information. I will share more about him in the coming days, along with providing wonderful and pithy commentary to accompany the information. We are all well here in Oxford. Us boys got haircuts today. We needed them desperately! Harley even went to the doggy spa yesterday for a trim! New pictures to come soon.
Bo
Bo
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